i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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