Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
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jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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