You're completely useless in the revolution.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
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I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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