it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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