There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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