i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
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I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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