i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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