Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize