come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize