I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I want a musical about memes.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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