i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize