it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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