Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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