suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
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just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
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My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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