I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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