READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize