Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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