She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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