Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize