In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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