every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize