weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
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I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
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I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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