Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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