Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
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