wanna go halves on a baby?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize