I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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