I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My life is pants optional.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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