areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
worst night to have a conscience
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize