i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize