So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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