Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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