you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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