She said her name was "party"
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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