using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
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her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize