i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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