I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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