before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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