Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Couch. On fire.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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