There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
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you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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