just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm jealous of your bromance
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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