is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize