he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize