I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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