Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
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I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
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That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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