I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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