At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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