Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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