So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize