the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize