Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize